So, once upon a time, a girl in my class (total stranger) and I were discussing engagements and marriage and whatnot. Are you weirded out?
You should be.
If you aren't, go read that first part again. A TOTAL STRANGER AND I WERE DISCUSSING MARRIAGE.
Maybe I'm the only one that finds that weird....... Anywho, we were talking about such things and began to list all the reasons guys wouldn't want to marry us. Her list consisted of the following:
-I'm super duper picky (yes, she said duper)
-I cry during just about every single movie
-I can't see myself living anywhere but my home state (South Dakota--poor guy)
-I sing the High School Musical songs about every waking moment of my life
-I have a particular style of shoes I like my guys to wear (this one made me laugh... in her presence... a complete stranger.... I'm such a brat hahaha)
Things like that.
My list was:
-I am hecka competitive and am probably one of the sorest losers you'll ever find
-I absolutely do not condone skinny jeans. Ever. You can get away with straight leg khakis, but never will I ever allow skinny jeans. The end.
-My sarcasm registers on the Richter scale
-I watch Lion King or Lion King 2 at least once a week
-I am the grammar nazi (use 'well' and 'good' correctly, for the love)
-I am embarrassing to sit by at volleyball games
So those are some of the things we discussed while sending a silent blessing and prayer to the poor souls that are to be our husbands some day. Haha, but seriously, what suckers.
Later that day, I was sitting in the library working on a paper. While typing away, the thought occurred to me: hmm.... what are reasons a guy would want to marry me?
I thought up a few:
-I mix up a mean glass of chocolate milk
-I am competitive (I decided this belongs on both the con and pro lists)
-I am sassy and independent (probably a flaw too, but whatevs)
-I was raised with two brothers and their friends, so I know how to hold my own fairly well
-I'm gonna tell you how it is. EXACTLY how it is (again, probs a flaw... oops)
-I would care about you enough to not let you wear skinny jeans. You're welcome.
-I love football-but I won't pretend like I know everything about it
-I'm all about grilled cheese, cereal, and omelets.... and that's where my skills meet their ceiling (flaw?.....nah)
I think we can all agree here and now that I will be a rockin' wife;) hahahaha maybe.
But I don't write this to rant about something that is YEARS down the road. No, I write this to make a point: we are so ridiculously quick to think about, focus on, and declare our faults and shortcomings. Why??
Why do we feed our insecurities while our confidence starves?
We each have something to offer the world, our friends, our family, our peers/coworkers, and anyone else we come in contact with. Yet we selfishly inhibit ourselves by focussing on all we lack. Imagine if you realized that your smile has the ability to make someone's day in just a split second? You'd probably smile a lot more. Unless you're a horrible person or whatever...
Or what if you found out that when people hear you sing, they are given a moment to escape the crappiness of this busy, hectic world? You'd hopefully take every chance you were given to sing.
You see what I mean, though? You may not know you are making someone's day or providing escape for them, but you are. Which leads me to my next point....
TELL PEOPLE WHEN THEY MAKE YOUR DAY, PROVIDE ESCAPE, MAKE YOU SMILE, GIVE YOU REASON TO LOVE LIFE, etc. My best friend, Tyler, has a wonderful mother who once gave me a stack of cards with envelopes and challenged me to write a 'thoughtful note' to people when I feel the desire. This was when I was 13. So I made it a goal to write a 'thank you,' 'love you,' 'you're freaking awesome,' 'just a little hello' note to at least 2 people every Sunday and get it to them that day or as soon as possible. And I am proud to say that I have not missed a week since then. Go me!
But every time, without fail, at least one of those individuals sends me a text or response note, or comes up to me in person and says thank you and how much they needed to hear whatever it was that I told them.
People need to hear what they're dong to contribute to making this world go 'round! So let em know!
Feed people's confidence and starve their insecurities
So, YOU, yes, YOU! You're freakin' awesome. And so am I. Find what it is that you have to give to everyone else and share it unceasingly.
Oh, also:
dare to feed your own confidence and dare to starve your own insecurities.
That is all.
Much love,
Ciara
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