A Disguised Depression in our Society

So, I'm back…

First off, thank you to those of you that shared my first post on Facebook; it received over 500 page views within THREE DAYS of me posting it on Facebook. I received comments and even a couple emails from people I don't even know, expressing their gratitude for the post and for their friends that took the time to press the 'Share' button. So thank you for that.

Secondly, my title probably makes about negative sense to you right now… that's ok though! Keep reading and I swear it will make sense in just a few short minutes:)

I begin this post with a story… this is a story of something that happened to me last Friday… and it goes a little something like this:

I was strolling home from my Political Science Review. The time? Approximately 5:42. The weather? Freezing. The visibility? I'm not sure how to properly present this statistic… So we'll say it was very dark… so the visibility was something like a 4/10…I guess? Anywho, I'm walking on campus, past the Student Center, when, suddenly, a creature approaches me….. it smiles….. it gives a little wave….. it then pulls one of its barren hands from the warm, life-giving cocoon of its coat pocket and offers it out to me like some sort of peace-giving gesture. While in the midst of this act, it seemed to be communicating in my language and saying "Hi, I'm Luke, what's your name?" with a smile that he clearly learned from observing our species. Now, perhaps it was his gorgeous eyes, beautiful chocolately colored hair, and his resounding and stunningly captivating voice that is to blame for my pause of very genuine surprise; however, I accredit that particular moment of my silence to something even more breath-taking: a human being going out of its way to properly introduce itself and hold a proper, face-to-face conversation with another human being. Now is when my audience takes in a collective gasp… ready? 1, 2, 3- *GASP!!!*

I know, I know, it seems too good to be true; but I swear it. I swear it on the Boise State flag hanging on my wall as I type (for those that know me, I think you now know just how real this situation had to have been for me to swear on my flag). This Luke creature said hi to me! It was unbelievable! We had a lovely chat, during which I learned three things about Luke:
1. He is a human, not some alien creature (whew!)
2. He is married (bummer, but that's life) #ringcheck
3. He is in my Poli Sci class and the purpose of our conversation was to discuss the quality of the review we had just come from  and my thoughts on the professor. Nothing else.

So, one could say that nothing happened with Luke. But didn't everything happen? We introduced ourselves, we found a common ground, we talked, we joked, we laughed, we talked, we smiled, we asked questions, we TALKED. Does that happen anymore?? NO. Think about this, yes, YOU, right there, reading the screen, THINK ABOUT THIS: when was the last time you walked up to a stranger and introduced yourself? If your answer is "recently," congratulations,  you're a Budgie (Ciara, what the heck is a Budge?? You're going to learn my friend, hang in there). But if your answer is similar to mine and consists of some serious memory diving, we're definitely human. Dang it.

Seriously though, look around you as you walk around down town or at the mall or on campus or wherever you are. You'll always see the classics:
1) Texter Walker (noun): one who texts and walks, occasionally glancing up to keep from running into poles, closed doors, etc. Synonyms: Antisocial, NoTimeForTheWorld
2) Walk and Talk (verb): the act of walking while simultaneously talking on the phone, making the doer of this activity completely oblivious to others around them
3) Jammer n' Stammer (noun): an individual who walks in a public setting with their headphones on; the person may, at times, stammer out a lyric or tune from the music they're listening to, making them even more socially awkward and bizarre than a Texter Walker
4) No Contact Joe (noun): one who keeps their eye contact with the ground just in front of them while they walk; this person clearly does not want passers by to see into their soul… or something…

So now you know what to look for… Really though, they're everywhere.

DISCLAIMER: Now, now, I'm not bashing on texting or talking on the phone; I am constantly texting my brother, sister-in-law, or my mom throughout the day (well, not as of late due to a tragic phone incident… RIP lil cellular buddy). All I'm saying, is maybe there's a time and place for technology, and maybe it isn't while you're out and about in the world.


Now, Ciara, what the heck is this Budgie you've mentioned??
THESE ARE BUDGIES:

YEP. Birds. (Sorry mom--she's frightened of birds)

Cool Ciara.. but what's the relevance here??

PATIENCE. Goodness.

They're adorable, right?? Yes, they have vibrant colored feathers and can FLY… but there's more to these residents of the skies. These little fliers love to play and love exploring just about anything they can. They also love spending time with humans. Budgies are talkative and are actually freakishly capable of mimicking human words and phrases. It's sort of bizarre to me… but it's also kind of cool… in a weird way… search on YouTube for "Talking Parakeet" and just observe. It's weird, but awesome. But mostly just bizarre.

Anyways, most people that own Budgies, have found that the birds are friendly without being taught how to be. The birds are known to observe how humans greet one another and can then greet others accordingly. Parakeets are usually trained to say "Hello, how are you?" by their owners, but they have their own personality and it shows through their talk (or their...chirp?).

Humans, however, are in the middle of a downward trend to be less sociable as the spunky parakeet. A study conducted in 2011 demonstrated that one of the most dramatic changes in a daily routine of an average person was a declination in minutes spent interacting with other human beings per day. The study also mentions that children are spending less time interacting socially and have less social connections during their critical stages of development (physically, emotional, mentally, and socially). Again, no condemnation on technology, because it can truly be a remarkable thing, but what if we made the effort to spend a little more time waving and smiling than texting and calling? Take out the headphones and walk instead to the beat of socializing! (Whuddup cheesy line)

Now, there are many differences between a bird and a human (duh, Ciara), but the biggest difference between humans and a Budgie, I think, is that the birds know when they are socially depressed. Humans can bundle up in their bubble of technology and texting and Twitter and Facebook and Instagram and think that they are still being social and getting their mingling fill. Unlike humans, however, if a Budgie isn't given proper opportunities for socialization, the following occurs:
-Fluffed up feathers
-Irritability
-Plucks out its own feathers
-Appetite loss

Budgies recognize when they need another bird to chirp with or a human to interact with! They have symptoms too so others know they are socially deprived or depressed! But don't we also have symptoms? Perhaps they could be:
-tweeting waaaay too much in one day (guilty)
-watching Netflix and possibly completely an entire season of a TV show in one day… (so guilty…)
-getting grumpy easily (guilty)
-being irritated when your mom/wife/grandma/aunt (it's usually a woman) tells you to 'come downstairs and be social' (again, ssooo guilty…)

You see what I mean, though?? Do we realize when we're socially depressed? Have we forgotten the value of a simple wave-an act that requires no price at all??

Challenge of the week(to my readers and myself): say hello to someone you don't know. Whether your motivation is that it's a gorgeous man or a girl sitting alone by herself, DO IT. Strike up a conversation and be genuine about it. Most likely, you'll walk away feeling pretty awesome and leave someone feeling even awesomer (just accept the word). Walking away after my chat with Luke, I felt inspired to cure cancer, feed every hungry tummy in the world, and rid every ocean and river of pollution. Hope for humanity was revitalized in my soul!! Ok, perhaps that's a little extreme, but still. Live your life with a wave and a smile before a text or a call and see what it brings!!!

Much love and Merry Christmas!

Ciara

Exquisite Budgie Photo and Insanely Interesting Budgie Info:
http://birds.about.com/od/breedsofbirds/p/budgerigars.htm
http://animal-world.com/encyclo/birds/parakeets/budgies.php

Why Not Love Yourself?

So here's the dealio…

This is real life.

Ciara Stastny has started a blog.

For those of you that know me, please contain your shock and awe. For those of you that don't know me (hello cheesy church line), you're going to only know Blogger Ciara. Have fun with that.

So tonight, I find myself feeling content and beautiful. This is strange because my hair is still damp from my shower, I have zero makeup on, exposing my every facial blemish, and my skin is freakishly dry from the "wonderful" Utah air; however, after reading many many many tweets about the Victoria Secret Show (guys tweeting about the girls' bodies, girls tweeting about the guys that tweet about the girls' bodies, girls feeling the need to proclaim their confidence in their own body to the social media world, guys mocking girls that get so insecure about guys tweeting about the models, and on and on and on), I had an epiphany of sorts. We seem to think that "beautiful" can be broken down into two categories: inside and outside. To be beautiful inside is to be kind, funny, loving, caring, sensitive, compassionate, and giving. To be beautiful outside is to be thin, tan, have long hair that is always done perfectly, and to dress to impress. I realize that those definitions may vary here and there, but I think we all can agree that those are the general and basic rules. But why is that? I once received a loving card from a close friend telling me Happy Birthday and that she loved having me as a friend and she ended by proclaiming "You're beautiful inside and out!!" Now, I know she meant no harm, but think about it: by telling someone they are beautiful inside and out, you are creating the idea that there is two types of beautiful: inside and out. Separately. You're both, or just beautiful inside, or just beautiful outside. And that is just sad to me.


And so brings me to my epiphany: beauty is loving you. Beauty is loving your size 11 shoe size. Beauty is loving that gap between your teeth or your freckles. Beauty is loving those love handles. Beauty is loving your hair. Beauty is loving your ears, your nose, your arms, your legs, your tummy, your face, your hair, your personality, your talents, your flaws, your strengths, your weaknesses, your abilities. If your appearance and your personality does not harm you or others around you, why not love it? I understand that there are health concerns regarding obesity and certain emotional disorders, so aid those to the best of your abilities for protectional purposes and then why not love yourself. 




The excuse we tend to unknowingly use is: because the world tells me not to. 
And it's true! Everything in the media today is telling you how to get skinny, do your hair, apply your makeup, what clothes to wear. Have we no say in what makes each of us individually beautiful. I want to talk about Barbie. Many little girls of today, enjoy playing with Barbie Dolls. These dolls of impeccable style and flawless measurements seem like the perfect gift for a child, right? Perhaps…. but also perhaps not. 



The very first barbie doll was named Barbie Millicent Roberts. Her job was to be a teenage fashion model. 

This first Barbie sold for $3. Additional clothing and accessories based on the latest Paris runway trends were sold, costing from $1 to $5. In this first year of 1959, 300k Barbie dolls were sold.

There has been some discussion over the controversy about Barbie Doll's figure when it was realized that if Barbie was a real person her measurements would be an impossible 36-18-38. Barbie's "real" measurements are 5 inches (bust), 3 ¼ inches (waist), 5 3/16 inches (hips). Her weight is 7 ¼ ounces, and her height is 11.5 inches tall. I mean… check it out:

Like, that isn't even human. In fact, that's borderline SCARY to me. And yet, the Barbie fad became a Barbie era. To make matters worse, in 1965, Barbie came out with more accessories, including a bathroom scale and a "How To" book collection. This scale was permanently set at 110lbs and this book (view of front and back) really did come with the doll. Observe:

*cue giggles* Is this for real??? If I got on the scale tomorrow morning and the scale said 110… I would be HIGHLY concerned. If 110 is your weight, please take into account your height and body type before blowing up about my previous statement. Let's all use our brains. And if I had to not eat for any reason at all, I would hate life. Because I love food. LOVE it. It brings me joy. 

Do you see what I mean, though? The world has created this ideal image that we women must conform to, but it isn't realistic. It doesn't account for the fact that not all bodies are the same. It can't factor in personality and happiness. Beauty is a number to the world. Let's make it something more abstract.

I'm Ciara Stastny. I vary from a size 4 to a size 10 in dress, depending on the store. So am I fat? Am I skinny? Neither. I like to think of myself as pleasantly athletically sized;)  And I love it! If I was the size of those Victoria Secret models, I would snap like a twig when playing the sport that I absolutely love. If I didn't have the muscle, thick quads, and wide shoulders that I have, I wouldn't be able to participate in and succeed at the many outdoor activities that my family enjoys. I'm Ciara Stastny and I freaking love my body. I work every day to improve the things I don't love and that I can control, and I work every day to accept and grow to love the things that I cannot control. I am blessed to have this body. You are blessed to have yours. So stop comparing yourself to others, because they AREN'T YOU.

So look in the mirror, ask yourself if you truly love you. If ya do, awesome. But if you don't, learn to accept the things you cannot control, and work to change for the better the things that you can. Not for the world's standards, not for any guy's standards, for YOUR standards that would make you love you.

Why not love yourself?

I apologize for the odd topic for a blog post, but this was on my mind, so it went on the document. You have every right to love yourself. And you most likely have every reason to love yourself too. Join me in my goal to REDEFINE BEAUTY.

Much love,

Ciara

links for pictures:
http://inventors.about.com/od/bstartinventions/a/The-History-Of-Barbie-Dolls.htm
http://nowiknow.com/barbies-diet-plan/